These are going to make no sense. I just feel like blogging and venting. Just some descriptive words and phrases that I feel blurting out, but are not of the creative nor intelligent nature what-so-ever.
I'm tired of my teeth. What's the point of wisdom teeth and why are they called that? Because you get them when you're older? Wisdom comes through age I suppose, but that doesnt mean you're wise. Wisdom comes from experience, and true wisdom comes from the Lord. So what does any of that have to do with teeth? Especially ones that cause you problems, stay impacted, and then cost you a lot of money to get them removed. How is that of the wise or portray wisdom? As if that weren't enough, I have a molar that decided to have blunt roots and take on the form of a baby molar. Will a root canal save it? Dr. says no, it has come out with the wisdom teeth. So all of the wisdom and the baby are being pulled from my mouth. Then in a few months, I will get an implant tooth to replace the blunt-rooted baby. More money. The implant tooth will be screwed into my bone. Lovely. But sturdy. Very wise says the Doctor. Go with the implant, it'll last you forever.
I wanted to somehow pull some spiritual application from this root and wisdom problem I have.
Nothing of depth was pulled though.
So in a week, I'll be basically toothless. Good weight loss program I suppose.
Teeth talk is done.
Heart talk.
Mine needs to slow down. It overflows too much. I don't particularly like what it overflows most of the time anyway. Very inconsistent, the ebb and flow of my heart. The words I speak appall me most of the time. The thoughts I think are horrendous. What does that say about the condition of my heart? Nothing good I'm afraid. Today it did flips and then grounded. Last night too. I hate that you cause my heart to be a gymnast...still. I pray for the day when I meet you and my heart just takes a nice stroll toward you with a smile and then says goodbye peacefully.
Typically it turns, flips. twists, and then breaks a leg because it doesnt stop rolling. I think it has slowed it's pace. But I'm ready for it to retire and be a marathon runner. Not a gymnast. I hope for you to see what you are made for and to let go of what drags you down.
My house chokes me. My family is crazy and I don't know how to help them. Plus, I'm tired of trying. Except with one of my brothers, I don't get tired of him. I feel like an evil person saying all of this.
Work is a roller coaster. But I love all of my tellers. I need some resolution with one of my employees. I feel bad for her one day, and anger resides in my heart toward her the next. I'm clueless as to what to do or think when it comes to her. Changes are on the horizon though..that's for sure. I hope I don't destroy that place and or leave a bad rep or legacy. Or is that prideful to care about what IM LEAVING. I guess I should say, I hope people see Christ in me. Sometime they do, but like I said, I'm inconsistent, and that, He was not. Maybe He's so awesome that He shows Himself through me, and I just don't see it. Because I know this body His Presence dwells in is not worthy.
That makes me want to go finish my study on the work Kingdom in John 3. I hope my mind is renewed and transformed.
Thanks for reading..I think. Actually I'm embarrassed of this blog.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
A Day Off..
FINALLY. It's my day off this week and after this, it gets crazy for awhile. Mostly just work. We are revamping my whole branch, turning it upside down, all around, ripping it up, taring it down, people and the building.
Basically without all of my descriptive words usage, we are re-staffing and rescheduling, and this weekend we will be putting in new floors. Obviously the floors can't be done while we work, so I will be in the building after we close both friday and saturday for this endeavor.
I'm thinking about bringing my sleeping bag..
BUT. It's all part of restoration process I never thought I would be a part of. My branch of the credit union is the only one of it's kind.. It's drive-thru only, it's small, and closed off to the public, but very busy. I have a variety of tellers there and i LOVE that. I have one challenging employee, and well..I have to pray for strength to be her boss everyday..But I know she's there for a reason like all the other ones are. I wished I could tell you all of their stories..because their amazing. I LOVE getting to know people. Being a small part of their lives.
Like yesterday, it was a long day. I'm short-handed and my senior teller (asst manager) was off. So that means i work a 10 hour day. Anyway, one of my tellers came in looking really down. I asked her what was wrong, and she burst into tears! I felt awkward and sad all at the same time. I asked her to go into my office and just cool down for awhile. After that "while" had passed, I went in there to talk. I thought it might be work. Because we've been making so many changes, moving people around, hiring, not hiring, and maybe it got to her. But she shared that she got a very broken heart over the weekend. I didn't expect her to share that.
But I felt like an older sister to her. I wanted to comfort her anyway I could think of, but I know the only One who can... So I shared a little bit of how the Lord used my times of broken-heartedness for good. ONE: There's always a purpose behind it. He wants to show something of Himself to us, so look for it! There's where your focus should be. Not on the problem, not on the hurt, but on the Lord Jesus. He loves us and everything is for the good for those who love Him back. I told her how it was during my time of being hurt that I'd never felt closer to the Lord. I grew soooo much in the two major times of being heart-broken.
Last, I asked if I could pray for her..PRAISE THE LORD! Praying over my staff member in a secular workplace! My friend and I prayed over my office when I got the promotion, and the Lord has surely moved in that place! All glory to Him!
It's so amazing to me how INVOLVED the Lord is with us..if we open ourselves up to Him...
So I just love that normally, she would been off that day, but I switched her day off to today, her birthday (ya this hits right before her birthday) and the Lord was able to reach out to her through me! Crazy, confused, irritable me!
I say that because prior to this opportunity, I have been feeling all of those things. Just lost and confused, WORN OUT in all aspects, like I have nothing left to give anyone..
And all of the sermons at church lately have been on prayer.
wow.
THEN I left work yesterday and went straight to meet up with my pastor's wife for Bible Study at Starbucks. We're coming up on 1 year of meeting in a few weeks. And I'm producing tears behind my eyes just thinking about God's grace to me through her.
So we went over Luke 21..because thats the book we've been in since December. And the Lord talks a lot about being on our guard, being alert, not letting the world ensnare us and dull our minds! Examples the scripture gave were drunkeness, carousing, and the worries of life.
And the worries of life sure were dulling me!! I was not guarding myself at all. Jesus advises us to pray for strength to escape "these things" and be able to STAND when the end times are near..not be overcome with fear.
That's not the only example of prayer the Lord has put in my life this week. Last Wednesday I was off as well. And I spent half the morning with the Lord. I HAD TO. I was dying of starvation of Him.
Well, my brother, who is not a believer..yet, has been suffering some chest pains that were freakin him out a bit. So he unknowingly to me, made a doctor's appointment for that Wednesday. As he walked out the door, he said "see ya later..I guess you're allowed to pray for me if you want to.." So I sat shocked and said "Ok, I will..Bye" And I did.
A little while later, I received a text message from him as follows:
"last night i prayed for the first time, and it actually felt good. im sry for always calling you brainwashed and pickin on you for that stuff."
TEARS CAME FALLING.
And they are again as I remember that.
Man, if the Lord God can change my brother's hardened heart..wow.
I wished you knew him, and how hurt he was from the church. And how angry at God he is. He did always call me brainwashed. He accused me of not thinking for myself, and that it showed my lack of intelligence. It started to ware on me just before that text message.
I had been struggling with my faith, who to trust, what is false, what is true? Hard questions..what if he's right???
My pastor's wife encouraged me that it was a good sign, not bad, that my brother said those things. It showed the light was shining brightly through me to him. The Holy Spirit was moving, and he had said once "Brooke, that's whats crazy about you. You actually BELIEVE this stuff. You have faith unlike the ones who pretend for a spiritual high." He was meaning in for an insult, but the Lord showed me it was a blessing and a "Glory to God!" moment. for sure. That this prideful, judgemental, hypocrite was transparent just enough for him to see a glimpse of Christ.
I never imagined that my brother would apologize for calling me brainwashed. At least not this soon. I thought he was messing with me again actually.
So it's been time of restoration lately. Restoration isn't an easy process I've realized. But it's better than being stagnant in ruins.
My branch getting new floors after 10 years is huge. I'm only the 2nd person to run that place, my boss before is an agnostic and she opened the building. The roof leaked and ruined the carpet, and they could never find the leak for YEARS. I'm not kidding. And maybe a few weeks after she left, my friend and teller found the leak. And the next time the workers were out, I pointed out that leak, and it hasn't let in water since. My former boss has since been promoted and opened our newest branch. IT LEAKED. IM NOT KIDDING. It's BRAND NEW. I found that interesting.
Building restoration in progress.
Family restoration in progress.
Debt being paid off.
It's been so amazing watching the Lord rebuild my workplace with staff and structure. Just watching new signs being put up on Monday after praying with my teller..was amazing. God's hand is there. I'll be in that position one year in June. I can't wait to reflect on it with you at the mark! BECAUSE it's also the marking of my student loan being paid IN FULL!!! The whole reason I've stayed here...Though God had other reasons also..
I'll save that for another blog.
I just hope to encourage you guys to not give up. When you grow weary, pray for strength. Retreat by yourself with the Father. Jesus did that. I learned that in Luke 21 also.
He retreated at night and ministered in the day. And He was God! So how much more should we be retreating to a lonely place to be re-filled?
Prayer unveils so much. I'll ask you what my pastor asked us Sunday..
What is hindering you from praying? Make a mental list of what you won't let go of and repent of as to restore communication again..
Is it worth it?
I'll be transparent here, my struggle with the outward and physical has consumed me.
Whether it be my self-image, my desire for a mate, it all has hindered me.
It has for a long time. The Lord is digging that root up.
I care too much what people think of me. There is a balance. I don't believe we should make people stumble with the appearance of evil, but I believe it all has to do with the motivation of our hearts.
And mine was partly to impress. To catch an eye..
I worried it over choosing an outfit so much, it would make me late to wherever I was going. Because all the different faces would come to mind and what they would think, so I would switch outfits with every face that came to mind..NO LIE. It's sick.
I'm such a passionate person, I struggle with balance.
So I'm praying for some of it.
To just simply have the Lord Jesus as my focus, and all else seems to fall into place.
PRAYER has been the root of this blog and all it's details.
It's been the theme lately.
When you're worn out, exhausted, pray for a time of retreat with the Father. He will provide it. We know this because He did it for Jesus, and Jesus took the opportunities. He had to.
We do too.
Rest and Peace to all of you,
-brooke
Basically without all of my descriptive words usage, we are re-staffing and rescheduling, and this weekend we will be putting in new floors. Obviously the floors can't be done while we work, so I will be in the building after we close both friday and saturday for this endeavor.
I'm thinking about bringing my sleeping bag..
BUT. It's all part of restoration process I never thought I would be a part of. My branch of the credit union is the only one of it's kind.. It's drive-thru only, it's small, and closed off to the public, but very busy. I have a variety of tellers there and i LOVE that. I have one challenging employee, and well..I have to pray for strength to be her boss everyday..But I know she's there for a reason like all the other ones are. I wished I could tell you all of their stories..because their amazing. I LOVE getting to know people. Being a small part of their lives.
Like yesterday, it was a long day. I'm short-handed and my senior teller (asst manager) was off. So that means i work a 10 hour day. Anyway, one of my tellers came in looking really down. I asked her what was wrong, and she burst into tears! I felt awkward and sad all at the same time. I asked her to go into my office and just cool down for awhile. After that "while" had passed, I went in there to talk. I thought it might be work. Because we've been making so many changes, moving people around, hiring, not hiring, and maybe it got to her. But she shared that she got a very broken heart over the weekend. I didn't expect her to share that.
But I felt like an older sister to her. I wanted to comfort her anyway I could think of, but I know the only One who can... So I shared a little bit of how the Lord used my times of broken-heartedness for good. ONE: There's always a purpose behind it. He wants to show something of Himself to us, so look for it! There's where your focus should be. Not on the problem, not on the hurt, but on the Lord Jesus. He loves us and everything is for the good for those who love Him back. I told her how it was during my time of being hurt that I'd never felt closer to the Lord. I grew soooo much in the two major times of being heart-broken.
Last, I asked if I could pray for her..PRAISE THE LORD! Praying over my staff member in a secular workplace! My friend and I prayed over my office when I got the promotion, and the Lord has surely moved in that place! All glory to Him!
It's so amazing to me how INVOLVED the Lord is with us..if we open ourselves up to Him...
So I just love that normally, she would been off that day, but I switched her day off to today, her birthday (ya this hits right before her birthday) and the Lord was able to reach out to her through me! Crazy, confused, irritable me!
I say that because prior to this opportunity, I have been feeling all of those things. Just lost and confused, WORN OUT in all aspects, like I have nothing left to give anyone..
And all of the sermons at church lately have been on prayer.
wow.
THEN I left work yesterday and went straight to meet up with my pastor's wife for Bible Study at Starbucks. We're coming up on 1 year of meeting in a few weeks. And I'm producing tears behind my eyes just thinking about God's grace to me through her.
So we went over Luke 21..because thats the book we've been in since December. And the Lord talks a lot about being on our guard, being alert, not letting the world ensnare us and dull our minds! Examples the scripture gave were drunkeness, carousing, and the worries of life.
And the worries of life sure were dulling me!! I was not guarding myself at all. Jesus advises us to pray for strength to escape "these things" and be able to STAND when the end times are near..not be overcome with fear.
That's not the only example of prayer the Lord has put in my life this week. Last Wednesday I was off as well. And I spent half the morning with the Lord. I HAD TO. I was dying of starvation of Him.
Well, my brother, who is not a believer..yet, has been suffering some chest pains that were freakin him out a bit. So he unknowingly to me, made a doctor's appointment for that Wednesday. As he walked out the door, he said "see ya later..I guess you're allowed to pray for me if you want to.." So I sat shocked and said "Ok, I will..Bye" And I did.
A little while later, I received a text message from him as follows:
"last night i prayed for the first time, and it actually felt good. im sry for always calling you brainwashed and pickin on you for that stuff."
TEARS CAME FALLING.
And they are again as I remember that.
Man, if the Lord God can change my brother's hardened heart..wow.
I wished you knew him, and how hurt he was from the church. And how angry at God he is. He did always call me brainwashed. He accused me of not thinking for myself, and that it showed my lack of intelligence. It started to ware on me just before that text message.
I had been struggling with my faith, who to trust, what is false, what is true? Hard questions..what if he's right???
My pastor's wife encouraged me that it was a good sign, not bad, that my brother said those things. It showed the light was shining brightly through me to him. The Holy Spirit was moving, and he had said once "Brooke, that's whats crazy about you. You actually BELIEVE this stuff. You have faith unlike the ones who pretend for a spiritual high." He was meaning in for an insult, but the Lord showed me it was a blessing and a "Glory to God!" moment. for sure. That this prideful, judgemental, hypocrite was transparent just enough for him to see a glimpse of Christ.
I never imagined that my brother would apologize for calling me brainwashed. At least not this soon. I thought he was messing with me again actually.
So it's been time of restoration lately. Restoration isn't an easy process I've realized. But it's better than being stagnant in ruins.
My branch getting new floors after 10 years is huge. I'm only the 2nd person to run that place, my boss before is an agnostic and she opened the building. The roof leaked and ruined the carpet, and they could never find the leak for YEARS. I'm not kidding. And maybe a few weeks after she left, my friend and teller found the leak. And the next time the workers were out, I pointed out that leak, and it hasn't let in water since. My former boss has since been promoted and opened our newest branch. IT LEAKED. IM NOT KIDDING. It's BRAND NEW. I found that interesting.
Building restoration in progress.
Family restoration in progress.
Debt being paid off.
It's been so amazing watching the Lord rebuild my workplace with staff and structure. Just watching new signs being put up on Monday after praying with my teller..was amazing. God's hand is there. I'll be in that position one year in June. I can't wait to reflect on it with you at the mark! BECAUSE it's also the marking of my student loan being paid IN FULL!!! The whole reason I've stayed here...Though God had other reasons also..
I'll save that for another blog.
I just hope to encourage you guys to not give up. When you grow weary, pray for strength. Retreat by yourself with the Father. Jesus did that. I learned that in Luke 21 also.
He retreated at night and ministered in the day. And He was God! So how much more should we be retreating to a lonely place to be re-filled?
Prayer unveils so much. I'll ask you what my pastor asked us Sunday..
What is hindering you from praying? Make a mental list of what you won't let go of and repent of as to restore communication again..
Is it worth it?
I'll be transparent here, my struggle with the outward and physical has consumed me.
Whether it be my self-image, my desire for a mate, it all has hindered me.
It has for a long time. The Lord is digging that root up.
I care too much what people think of me. There is a balance. I don't believe we should make people stumble with the appearance of evil, but I believe it all has to do with the motivation of our hearts.
And mine was partly to impress. To catch an eye..
I worried it over choosing an outfit so much, it would make me late to wherever I was going. Because all the different faces would come to mind and what they would think, so I would switch outfits with every face that came to mind..NO LIE. It's sick.
I'm such a passionate person, I struggle with balance.
So I'm praying for some of it.
To just simply have the Lord Jesus as my focus, and all else seems to fall into place.
PRAYER has been the root of this blog and all it's details.
It's been the theme lately.
When you're worn out, exhausted, pray for a time of retreat with the Father. He will provide it. We know this because He did it for Jesus, and Jesus took the opportunities. He had to.
We do too.
Rest and Peace to all of you,
-brooke
Friday, May 2, 2008
Changes
i love change. i think? ya, because i hate feeling stuck or stagnant. This week has been hell week for me. As in apparent attacks of evil. I've felt a bit lost and confused with a need for clarity and ..rest.
im tired of thinking so much. but i got a word of encouragement from a friend of mine's mom the other night. she seems to identify with me in feeling overwhelmed in our prayer lives. i want everything bathed in prayer. but im overwhelmed when i think about all there is to pray for. and i feel like im just uttering things to God..the samethings..over and over.
i know its not supposed to be like this. and all of this just under the umbrella of His sovereignty i know. because before i felt like this, i was cleaning out my room last saturday and came across old prayer journals of mine..
man, i was so passionate! and just poured my heart out like water to Him! now, i rarely write to Him. I've become ..busy. i feel as if time is just racing by. and there is this urgency inside of me to do everything..NOW. because i may miss something.. its weird i know. so i utter prayers of helplessness and desperation before i go to work everyday. Lord knows i cant do this job on my own. It's been awful up there lately. I know it's because God's kingdom is expanding there, and there has been abnormal attacks lately. And im not trying to sound spiritual, because im pretty sure if i wasnt a believer, i still would say to something to the same effect. It's just one thing after another. And I dont even want to reflect on it all. I just want it to stop.
Girls at my work have been seeking out the Lord. Coming to my church, and one is so close to salvation its amazing. My senior teller is..a challenge. sent by the Lord Himself to keep me dependent on Him. And im worn out. no lie. I know I've done something wrong. I feel like I haven't been a bold and strong manager.
Really, just lately, im seeing how much i really do miss the mark.. its nuts.
I'm so inconsistent.. im either late..or early. hot or cold. one extreme or another. where's the balance??? i wished i had some.
But here's some great news..but also a source of confusion..
I know one of the reasons ive been in abilene..in my mother's house..is to pay off my student loans so that i can be free from tie-downs to go wherever the Lord may call me to.
I'm one payment away from one of the loans being paid off, and a few more from the other.
This summer i know is gong to bring about a ton of change..i just know what or how..
Where im gonna be? what am i gonna be doing?
man and so many of my friends got engaged or married this WEEK. no lie! or dating someone..
one of my most dearest guy friends is dating someone for the first time, and he's about to graduate, and its just so weird! and one of my best friends eloped this week, but just to the JP. and i got to witness it. but its so..changing.
i dont feel creative right now, i just needed let this out and feel like i was keeping up with it..(that consistency thing again)
so im off to catch up on sleep that im desperatley lacking in.
Be praying for the retreat me and some friends are doing for the college girls at our church...
we're excited.
love everyone..
dont let the stones cry out...
im tired of thinking so much. but i got a word of encouragement from a friend of mine's mom the other night. she seems to identify with me in feeling overwhelmed in our prayer lives. i want everything bathed in prayer. but im overwhelmed when i think about all there is to pray for. and i feel like im just uttering things to God..the samethings..over and over.
i know its not supposed to be like this. and all of this just under the umbrella of His sovereignty i know. because before i felt like this, i was cleaning out my room last saturday and came across old prayer journals of mine..
man, i was so passionate! and just poured my heart out like water to Him! now, i rarely write to Him. I've become ..busy. i feel as if time is just racing by. and there is this urgency inside of me to do everything..NOW. because i may miss something.. its weird i know. so i utter prayers of helplessness and desperation before i go to work everyday. Lord knows i cant do this job on my own. It's been awful up there lately. I know it's because God's kingdom is expanding there, and there has been abnormal attacks lately. And im not trying to sound spiritual, because im pretty sure if i wasnt a believer, i still would say to something to the same effect. It's just one thing after another. And I dont even want to reflect on it all. I just want it to stop.
Girls at my work have been seeking out the Lord. Coming to my church, and one is so close to salvation its amazing. My senior teller is..a challenge. sent by the Lord Himself to keep me dependent on Him. And im worn out. no lie. I know I've done something wrong. I feel like I haven't been a bold and strong manager.
Really, just lately, im seeing how much i really do miss the mark.. its nuts.
I'm so inconsistent.. im either late..or early. hot or cold. one extreme or another. where's the balance??? i wished i had some.
But here's some great news..but also a source of confusion..
I know one of the reasons ive been in abilene..in my mother's house..is to pay off my student loans so that i can be free from tie-downs to go wherever the Lord may call me to.
I'm one payment away from one of the loans being paid off, and a few more from the other.
This summer i know is gong to bring about a ton of change..i just know what or how..
Where im gonna be? what am i gonna be doing?
man and so many of my friends got engaged or married this WEEK. no lie! or dating someone..
one of my most dearest guy friends is dating someone for the first time, and he's about to graduate, and its just so weird! and one of my best friends eloped this week, but just to the JP. and i got to witness it. but its so..changing.
i dont feel creative right now, i just needed let this out and feel like i was keeping up with it..(that consistency thing again)
so im off to catch up on sleep that im desperatley lacking in.
Be praying for the retreat me and some friends are doing for the college girls at our church...
we're excited.
love everyone..
dont let the stones cry out...
Saturday, April 5, 2008
The Coffee Shop Painting
This is a picture I took of a painting at Mezamis Coffee Shop. I think its AMAZING. I noticed it when we were having Bible Study there on Thursday. And I just stared at thinking.."wow Lord, that is You. Calling us, waiting for us, to come, and sit, and listen..to seek and find..you're waiting for us..until time ends and You return. And when You will have to broken-heartedly say to some 'depart from me, i never knew you.' I would die if You said that to me.."
It was last February that I started feeling this overwhelming desire to KNOW HIM, i knew OF HIM, but I swear, I would see this vision of a small dining table for two..with me on one side and I imagined the Lord on the other, and we sat and I got to know Him and we talked of Life..
I was so tired of bland faith. Of just knowing the ins and outs of Christianity instead of knowing the One behind the name..
I wanted to know Him for myself.
It's just like when you hear a friend talk of one of their friends a few times, and you form an image of that person in your mind and get to know them..indirectly. But the problem with that is, its your friend's perspective of that person, and whatever wounds, joys, and biases go with that, that your friend shared with that person, are now throw into your perspective of them, and you've never gotten to know them for yourself!
As scattered as that is, I think that was me and the Lord..I knew very little for myself. Not that all i had heard and was told of Him was wrong, but it wasnt a result of me knowing Him, and that just wasnt good enough anymore!
I wanted to say salvation is good news, and really believe it for myself that it is in fact, GOOD NEWS! and not just NEWS.
Good News spreads..and Bad new spreads..But news is just..reported. And if it happens to catch a wondering ear or an eye, it spreads a little...
But we crave anything curable, anything to shed light on who we are and what we're made for..Anything to give us peace, clarity, and satisfaction.
He is all of that, I heard it a thousand times, but I wanted my heart to know it, because i knew if my heart knew it, then it would overflow into my actions and then the world around me would know it too..
SO. 2 chairs. a table. a cup of coffee..a voice saying .."I'll wait for you.."
But how long?
How long will He wait for us to come and sit with Him?
Until either we die, or He returns I suppose..
But then what if we have sat in that other chair before, did the conversation spur us on to invite other people to that chair??? Or did we do all of the talking, and then get up and leave? Did we sit and listen to Him? Did we realize that all of the answers to all of our questions, would be found in KNOWING HIM? I know He loves us, and He knows that all is found in Him, and if we would just sit and seek, He is faithful to reveal Himself to us. We're so keen on getting to know deep secrets of people, but what of the deep secrets of the Lord? Are we that excited over those? I know what holds me back from that chair sometimes, it's because I know I will know Him deeply, and with that is a stronger bond, a stronger love, one that I may lose myself in, to be that close, that committed, is scary. What if I let Him down? I will. I know I will. He knows I will. And i've discovered, it wont change His love for me in the slightest..
Now I have to ask, are we as inviting to others seeking as the Lord has been to us?? Or are we too blinded by our own selves to see those seekers?
Are we too busy with the work of God, to even notice that empty chair??
Can we make ourselves available for that phone call of a friend or co-worker in need? Do we portray someone who says.."I"ll wait for you.." or WAIT ON ME, I have other things to do..but i'll be there.."
the parable of the banquet in Luke 14
Jesus replied with this story: “A man prepared a great feast and sent out many invitations. 17 When the banquet was ready, he sent his servant to tell the guests, ‘Come, the banquet is ready.’ 18 But they all began making excuses. One said, ‘I have just bought a field and must inspect it. Please excuse me.’ 19 Another said, ‘I have just bought five pairs of oxen, and I want to try them out. Please excuse me.’ 20 Another said, ‘I now have a wife, so I can’t come.’
21 “The servant returned and told his master what they had said. His master was furious and said, ‘Go quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and invite the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame.’ 22 After the servant had done this, he reported, ‘There is still room for more.’ 23 So his master said, ‘Go out into the country lanes and behind the hedges and urge anyone you find to come, so that the house will be full. 24 For none of those I first invited will get even the smallest taste of my banquet.’”
All those invited gave excuses..
Those excuses are not far from our lips either..
"I cant just sit at home on friday night, that's boring..I cant just sit and read, and pray. But I can do it in my car on my way to everything I go to."
I guess what im trying to say is...
Are we allowing our daily lives to portray someone who is available and willing to meet with anyone the Lord puts in our path, or do we fill up our days with things that arent producing any fruit, but "good deeds" and the lost and seeking around us dont approach us to sit and talk because they can see we are "too busy" and wouldnt want to inconvenience us..
I'm not saying everyday, sit and wait. NO. of course, not "GO! and make disciples.."
but Go with God's direction..Pray for Him to direct your steps everyday. If he says go, go. If he says wait, wait. If he says, stay at home and rest. then rest.
You may end up at a different table than you're used to, a different set of chairs, a different elevator, but the person next to you could be a seeker..Do you have Good News for them? Or are you on your cell phone trying to relieve awkward silence? Do you have Good News for them because you've spent time sitting in another set of chairs that THEY'VE NEVER BEEN IN BEFORE ?! With the Creator of the Universe and you HAVE to tell what you've seen and heard? You're probably in an unfamiliar setting, because you've been in an unfamiliar set of chairs, that they need to be in! That they need to hear about, and be invited to!
I hope we are as inviting as the Lord Jesus is...
But most of all I hope we ourselves have first accepted His invitation to come and sit, and then go and tell...
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Back to Blogging...
I've always been a journalist..not officially..or professionally...but just of my thoughts and experiences. Sometimes those thoughts and experiences..well a lot of time..are too much, that i cant type or write fast enough to keep up with them. So then i give up on blogging and/or writing because i know how far behind i fell in sharing.
In high school, i had a diaryland page. Ya. It was used for plenty of venting and exposing of things that shouldn't have been. Which is a flaw the Lord has been working out of me for quite some time now. TMI should have been my initials. Then I had a Xanga. for my early college years..well..technically that still exists, but i haven't posted on it in quite sometime. Oh, and while I'm watching this happen, i use ...... quite often when i type and too many commas in all the wrong places. Probably because i write the same way i speak, and that's just poor grammar. But i think the word blog should be an excuse for poor grammar, if i concentrate too much on it, I'll forget everything i was trying write about! (and the blog viewers just went down a few counts..)
So here we go. Back to Blogging.
In high school, i had a diaryland page. Ya. It was used for plenty of venting and exposing of things that shouldn't have been. Which is a flaw the Lord has been working out of me for quite some time now. TMI should have been my initials. Then I had a Xanga. for my early college years..well..technically that still exists, but i haven't posted on it in quite sometime. Oh, and while I'm watching this happen, i use ...... quite often when i type and too many commas in all the wrong places. Probably because i write the same way i speak, and that's just poor grammar. But i think the word blog should be an excuse for poor grammar, if i concentrate too much on it, I'll forget everything i was trying write about! (and the blog viewers just went down a few counts..)
So here we go. Back to Blogging.
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